i love Jesus but i drink a little

i know this is super old, but this phrase keeps popping into my mind as I try to process how i'm feeling ending my third year on surgery.

this vid is definitely worth all 6 minutes.

Story of My Life

as illustrated by the genius Kris Atomic

movie obsession: love story

" how can you do it?... see me and still love me?" 

sappiest thing ever. but i loved it.

i fully admit to a tendency to watch crappy movies and love them anyway, but i think this one might actually be good.  if not only tragic and partially realistic at least, the clothes and sets are amazing; and it made me think that maybe i could one day live in a cold place (but only if i had an amazing, high-collared, camel coat just like jenny). 

amazing what a movie can do!!! you should totallyyyyyy watch it.

happy Sunday.

all i've eaten today is sour patch kids

and its already 3 o'clock.

anyway. read this day and wanted to share. 


"... faith is a stranger and exile on Earth and doesn't know for certain about anything.  faith is homesickness.  faith is a lump in the throat. faith is less a position on than a movement toward, less a sure thing than a hunch.  faith is waiting.  faith is journeying through space and time.

to have faith is to respond to what we see by longing for it for the rest of our days; by trying to live up to it and toward it through all the wonderful and terrible things; by breathing it in like air and growing strong on it; by looking to see it again and see it better. to lose faith is to stop looking.  to lose faith is to decide that all you ever saw was your own best dreams".

from Beuchner's Secrets in the Dark

i hope we can all see where faith is taking us. 

also: 

Career Day

uggg. everytime i think about it i want to throw up a little.  

actually, i just want to hide in my bed, under the covers, next to liv.  

so last week, we had career day. it was a really great effort by our school to help us learn about potential residency programs that we might like.  we got to talk to dialogue with real doctors and ask questions about the little details of the residency match, day to day life, etc. 

well, of course i was cranky the whole time.  i mean, most of us are 25+, and we're still in school.  i think i've realized semi-adult + school, authority figures, etc.  isn't always the best mixture.  listening to someone else's opinions on my future for 8+ hours in one day is a little bit like torture.  it reminds me of watching msnbc or fox news for > 3 minutes at a time.  why do those people think anyone cares what their opinions on the world are?? furthermore, who wants to watch them fight about controversial issues? 

anyway, this was alot like career day.  everyone throwing their opinions at you, inducing the medical school mass chaos that ensues when two or more medical students are placed in a room together for an extended amount of time.  i was pretty discouraged, as most of the of the older folks were bashing my career choice: a residency in med-peds.  you know its bad when a psychiatrist is rude to you about it.  but after i did a little more research on my own, i've found my self even more excited about a program such as this.

so bite me,  psychiatry / family medicine / and surgery. 
this is my life! 
i've watched this video upward of 50 times already, and my confidence is brimming. (thanks Kaili)

anyway, here's to sunday and living in nashville, portland, or charleston in just under a year and a half!!!

also: quintessential picture of liv. at the beach yesterday. 

the girls.

a certain someone that i'm working with right now, on a certain roation having to do with female reproduction and its associated organs, often refers to breasts as 'the girls'. not sure why, but i find that phrase super annoying.  i mean, if my doctor asked me "how are your girls?"; i probably wouldn't come back to her.  that said, maybe i'm uptight? whatever. i don't care. i hate this certain rotation on certain female reproductive parts.

so here are some 'girls' i find inspiring right now.  and no, i'm not referring to breasts.

i hope i have a little piece of each over these beauties in me somewhere.

Barbara Streisand from The Way We Were.  She's a bad ass curly haired passionate woman who advocates for human rights.  I don't even care that she gets dumped by Robert Redford when she's preggers.

Liv Tyler. OMG. Could you be any cuter? Major personality points. 

 Sidney Bristow from Alias.  AKA Jennifer Garner.  AKA perfect combo of intelligence and vulnerability.  Also, a six pack.

  Picasso's Portrait of Francoise.  I dig her hair. 

Kees Van Dongen's Stella in a Flowered Hat.  Interested, yet skeptical.  

 

And this girl.  She's wearing a bun and she's gonna travel the world.  Watch out! 

inspired

hi! so i've been thinking a lot about the blog.  re: this post.  i've been wondering: should i delete it? is it the dumbest thing ever? does everyone secretly hate me for thinking anyone would want to read it?

i've also been reading many other, way cooler blogs than my own.  and i've come to this conclusion: while the blog is definitely a platform to share thoughts, ideas, and media with the world; for me it is much more a practice of vulnerability with myself.  for example, i haven't written in my journal for a while now.  i haven't journaled much for a couple of reasons: 1. i lost my super cool journaling pen 2. i used to be a really good journaler, so i'm kind of fearful of not living up to my prior entries (stupid, i know) 3. i have a very real fear of who will read my journals when i die.  i hereby bequeth all my written journals to mrs. ashley boumgetzen. 

so, i've decided that the blog is the new journal.  not only do i have to be vulnerable with the world, but with myself as well.  in order to blog well, i think, honesty is the most important component.  i was super inspired when i read this blog.  basically, it's just some dude writing out fun stuff and ideas for his future wife.  it's entertaining to read for sure, but i think vulnerable in some ways, as well.  first of all, what dude admits that he thinks about his future wife and what they'll do on saturdays and christmas mornings? i know few that would consider that cool.  anyway, i think its a unique picture of both vulnerability and hopefulness.

page 6 is my fave so far:

hilarious / ideal (?) .

anyway.  i'm reading an awe inspiring book by buechner (obvi) and am very excited to start sharing again.  i hope you are, too.

meg
 

" its well worth the time that it's taken to get here now"