second try

17. tonight i watched the office instead of studying for my psychopathology exam. this is the first time i've watched non-DVR'd TV in a while. it was worth it. Micheal Scott dressed up as Jesus.

"His last name is Christ, he has the power of flight, and he heals leopards"

p.s. i'm slightly pissed at you readers for not informing me of the horrible numbering tragedy of the last post. bonus confession: i HATE proof reading. can you tell?

Christmas Confessions

instead of being Scrooge-like this Christmas season, I've decided to get into the spirit by doing a 25 days of Christmas confession count down. i know, i know, the 25ish days of Advent have already started. but since Christmas this year is all about being honest (i've recently decided that), what better way to start the count down than by confessing that i hadn't even noticed it was December until today, when i realized i was 8 confessions behind? gosh it feels good to get that off my chest!

anyway, here it goes.

25.confession: this is what gave me the idea:

i love glee. what is better than a bon jovi it's my life/ usher confession mix with an asian kid break dancing in the middle? you can get back to me on that one.

24. confession: i truly believe this.

if you feel the same way, you can find support here.
i also think a similar situation applies every time a girl in San Antonio wears uggs.

23. confession: i don't actually own a bedazzler.

i own two bedazzlers.

22. confession (yes, i am going to write that for all 25...): i haven't said "holy shit" ever since kaili elaine sent me this email....


21. confession: after everything with Tiger, i've decided that BobbySeis was right. My standards for men are too high. but can i help it that my dad let me watch Top Gun when i sick on my birthday in the 4th grade? i don't think so..... ( i am super pissed at blogspot for not allowing me to embed this video)



22. confession: when i stumbled across this picture today while "studying" in the library, i cried a little.

see earlier posts on crocodiles for details.

21. i'm about 90% sure i'm doomed to become a psychiatrist. i'm 100% sure the majority of my patients will be my current classmates and medical students around the world whose souls are dying a slow, painful death of youth and innocence lost. i'm 105% sure that all the unread medical journals throughout the rows of the library emit some type of spirit and collagen degrading substance.

22. confession: whenever i think about the 2 confessions above, i look at these. and everything's better.



i contend that the photo booth mirror function is one of the top 10 inventions of our time. medical student meg or middle eastern super spy? only time will tell......

well, that's all i've got for now.

it's now or never. i just wanna live while i'm alive....

peace, joy, and baby jesus

meg

Get Behind Me, Santa

how i feel about christmas '09 so far.

It's times like these I must trust the words of a wiser soul, and when it comes to Christmas, that soul is Mr. Sufjan Stevens. I'll love you forever.

hmmmmmmm

recently i decided that i'm going to try to stop using the phrase "holy shit". i mean, is there anything MORE un-lady-like that could come out of my mouth? ok, you're right, there are definitely other things that would be worse, but still, this phrase is NOT classy. when i told a friend about my decision, she asked me why i decided to cease use of this offensive tag line. i didn't really have a good answer. i think i BS'd something, like, 'well, isn't it just intrinsically wrong?'. honestly, i don't really have a good answer for this question, except that i just feel like i should stop. i should stop cursing all together. but then how would i incorporate inappropriate levels of hyperbole into my everyday speech? the thought of removing my shield of cynicism is quite disarming.

some of you would say that cursing is definitely a contra-indication to a Godly life. isn't it pretty clear that the Bible says cursing is just down-right inappropriate? to you i say, absolutely, and you are a better person than i. others of you would say that cursing is the most crude form of prayer - a true crying out of desperation. i agree with you, too. i am a pretty confused and frazzled person at this point in my life. maybe my curses are just another manifestation of the chaos that has pervaded even my subconscious thought; perhaps they are an uncontrolled expression of loss of control. (if you need another example, just ask me about my dreams. they are WEIRD, and you've probably been in one, too).

(don't worry, i'm not going sci-fi on you ; she's just the antagonist from last night's dream.....)

the point is that even though "holy shit" is just a meaningless phrase that reveals the weakness of my humanity, i'm not entirely too sure that God is very concerned about this. aren't there bigger fish to fry? isn't the world full of a lot deeper and more painful tragedy than my uncouth vocabulary? is my pursuit of truth more than an adherence to an idea i don't currently relate to? or am i just unwilling to accept the fact that i need a little behavioral change? i think a little more time and thought on the subject is important for me to understand this concept, as of right now all i have is a should. i'm 100% sure that shoulds aren't going to get us through life, won't produce peace and joy, and will most definitely not prevent me from screaming in sheer terror every time i accidentally go to the 24/7 christmas music station in the morning (this has become a problem as of late).

so what's the deal?

ever since i was a kid i, i've adhered to structure quite well. i follow most rules quite faithfully, am very loyal, and take commitments very seriously. i used to take pride in this. now i think it may be a fault.

i started this blog to reveal a little more of who i am to those around me. even if you are a creepy internet stalker reading this right now, i think that's ok. i wanted Not now, but soon to be a testament to the fluidity of life and the embracing of change; a commitment to unraveling mystery, a exposition of the beauty of growth and relationship. i dare to say that so far i have failed at this miserably. yes, i want to be funny and make you laugh at how incredibly ridiculous my thoughts and habits are, but i also want you to know me. i want to practice writing and revealing who i am.

sadly, somewhere along the way i made my blog about pleasing others instead of revelation. i made it more about entertainment than discovery. i apologize and pledge re-direction.

i really don't want to get stuck in one of these...... (many thanks to alice , as i stole this from her fabulous blog)

my biggest fear in life is losing sight of who i am, of who i was made to be. i don't want to wake up one morning in suburbia with a nice, respectable husband and 3 nice, respectable children and wonder what happened to my life. i would like remain the uncouth, yet classy, passionate woman that i am. blog reader, if you made it through this post, i dedicate it to you, whom i thank for entering into the journey of unraveling our shoulds to coulds alongside me.

Nashville

"welcome home, bitch"

more to come soon.

the fort

this exam week, i am taking residence in my fort. who says peace and joy can't pervade the most dreaded week of the month?


exam week: the week where all your worst nightmares of life failure and life-long undiagnosed tetralogy of fallot are your closest companions; the week when all of your hours on the stairmaster fall victim to chick-fil-a and the downstairs snack machine; that dreaded week when your risk of deep vein thrombosis exponentially rises and your exposure to sunlight is null.

i refuse to accept this. i will take haven in my fort until the storm passes. this cardiology module, instead of wasting time in the library on facebook and urbanoutfitters.com, i will pass the time takeing emo pictures of my string lights, and then subsequently edit them in iphoto.


i will make myself hot chocolate every 1/2 hour and pretend it's not actually 80 degrees outside. i will watch the puppy cam without shame.

if need you me, you can find me at:
meg's childhood regression fort that is accidentally overtly sexual
spare room of The Ranch
south of the string lights and paper snowflakes
atop multiple pillows
underneath t-shirt quilt

if you get lost, you can ask missy's stuffed bevo for the girl listening to offensively loud music, most likely asleep in the corner of the fort. he'll point you in the right direction.

Most Embarassing Post So Far

Today in pharmacology we learned about drugs that prevent blood clots and emboli. My teacher is an avid story teller that wears old-man cardigans; like all old men, i harbor both ardent love for and paralyzing fear of him. he told us the story of a patient he visited once in the hospital that had a prosthetic heart valve. evidently there are a lot of different types of prosthetic valves, and this patient happened to have one of these: a starr-edwards mitral valve replacement.

it turns out that this device, used to direct blood flow in your heart, audibly clicks every time blood flows through it. you know when you get super nervous and you can hear your heart beat? just imagine hearing it all the time AND CLICKING.

well, this idea got me pretty freaked out and alarmingly brought to mind one of the most terrifying characters of my childhood:

the crocodile from Peter Pan.

Remember this creeper? He followed peter around with that annoying clock, totally crashing his party in Neverland. As a child, this guy was SUPER disturbing. But as an adult, I can't think of anything more weird and twisted. Maybe it's the fact that i've devoted my life to a profession dedicated to preventing death, but this crocodile is seriously morbid.

So, after about a good three hours of dwindling over this idea while 'studying' in the library, this twisted crocodile lead me to thoughts on my own childhood. in fact, i've been thinking about my childhood quite often as of late. nothing makes me happier than remembering the carefree days of youth. oh, to return to the years of perfect skin, a normal waist-to-hip ratio, and my huffy bicycle!

so, i thought i would dedicate this post to the bangin' years of my youth, share some of my favorite photos with you, and embarass my sisters a little. get excited.

Figure 1: My sisters.


please note that on the this fourth of july in the early 90's, i was petty darn cute. kristen is in the back covering her face. and yes, this is anne marie and her afro. please take a moment to appreciate how much she looks like Luigi from the mario brothers.

Figure 2: the entrance of Mac and Christmas in the Zoffuto household.

look! anne marie grew out her afro and mac is the fatest baby ever. kristen is wearing a letter jacket and my hair is dangerously close the fire place already. foreshadowing? i think so.

Figure 3: September 12, 1990: survival of the fittest

the burger king ball pit with my best friend ashley on her birthday. i'm pretty sure this exact location is the origin of methicillin resistant staph aureus. check out those curly bangs!

Figures 4 and 5: lets give credit where credit is due: the parents


there's nothing more fun than a family-wide bike ride! remember, safety first, and all familial helmets MUST match.


i'm not in this pic, but the fact that members of my family got to touch a real smurf is good enough for me. also, please note the length of my dad's non-existent coaching shorts. priceless.

Finally: the picture that defines my life even to this day:

each day i aspire to find this girl and those fabulous sunglasses.

peace and joy to you, my friends. reflect upon the days of your youth and watch out for that wierd ass crocodile. he always shows up in the most unexpected places.