all i've eaten today is sour patch kids

and its already 3 o'clock.

anyway. read this day and wanted to share. 


"... faith is a stranger and exile on Earth and doesn't know for certain about anything.  faith is homesickness.  faith is a lump in the throat. faith is less a position on than a movement toward, less a sure thing than a hunch.  faith is waiting.  faith is journeying through space and time.

to have faith is to respond to what we see by longing for it for the rest of our days; by trying to live up to it and toward it through all the wonderful and terrible things; by breathing it in like air and growing strong on it; by looking to see it again and see it better. to lose faith is to stop looking.  to lose faith is to decide that all you ever saw was your own best dreams".

from Beuchner's Secrets in the Dark

i hope we can all see where faith is taking us. 

also: 

Career Day

uggg. everytime i think about it i want to throw up a little.  

actually, i just want to hide in my bed, under the covers, next to liv.  

so last week, we had career day. it was a really great effort by our school to help us learn about potential residency programs that we might like.  we got to talk to dialogue with real doctors and ask questions about the little details of the residency match, day to day life, etc. 

well, of course i was cranky the whole time.  i mean, most of us are 25+, and we're still in school.  i think i've realized semi-adult + school, authority figures, etc.  isn't always the best mixture.  listening to someone else's opinions on my future for 8+ hours in one day is a little bit like torture.  it reminds me of watching msnbc or fox news for > 3 minutes at a time.  why do those people think anyone cares what their opinions on the world are?? furthermore, who wants to watch them fight about controversial issues? 

anyway, this was alot like career day.  everyone throwing their opinions at you, inducing the medical school mass chaos that ensues when two or more medical students are placed in a room together for an extended amount of time.  i was pretty discouraged, as most of the of the older folks were bashing my career choice: a residency in med-peds.  you know its bad when a psychiatrist is rude to you about it.  but after i did a little more research on my own, i've found my self even more excited about a program such as this.

so bite me,  psychiatry / family medicine / and surgery. 
this is my life! 
i've watched this video upward of 50 times already, and my confidence is brimming. (thanks Kaili)

anyway, here's to sunday and living in nashville, portland, or charleston in just under a year and a half!!!

also: quintessential picture of liv. at the beach yesterday. 

the girls.

a certain someone that i'm working with right now, on a certain roation having to do with female reproduction and its associated organs, often refers to breasts as 'the girls'. not sure why, but i find that phrase super annoying.  i mean, if my doctor asked me "how are your girls?"; i probably wouldn't come back to her.  that said, maybe i'm uptight? whatever. i don't care. i hate this certain rotation on certain female reproductive parts.

so here are some 'girls' i find inspiring right now.  and no, i'm not referring to breasts.

i hope i have a little piece of each over these beauties in me somewhere.

Barbara Streisand from The Way We Were.  She's a bad ass curly haired passionate woman who advocates for human rights.  I don't even care that she gets dumped by Robert Redford when she's preggers.

Liv Tyler. OMG. Could you be any cuter? Major personality points. 

 Sidney Bristow from Alias.  AKA Jennifer Garner.  AKA perfect combo of intelligence and vulnerability.  Also, a six pack.

  Picasso's Portrait of Francoise.  I dig her hair. 

Kees Van Dongen's Stella in a Flowered Hat.  Interested, yet skeptical.  

 

And this girl.  She's wearing a bun and she's gonna travel the world.  Watch out! 

inspired

hi! so i've been thinking a lot about the blog.  re: this post.  i've been wondering: should i delete it? is it the dumbest thing ever? does everyone secretly hate me for thinking anyone would want to read it?

i've also been reading many other, way cooler blogs than my own.  and i've come to this conclusion: while the blog is definitely a platform to share thoughts, ideas, and media with the world; for me it is much more a practice of vulnerability with myself.  for example, i haven't written in my journal for a while now.  i haven't journaled much for a couple of reasons: 1. i lost my super cool journaling pen 2. i used to be a really good journaler, so i'm kind of fearful of not living up to my prior entries (stupid, i know) 3. i have a very real fear of who will read my journals when i die.  i hereby bequeth all my written journals to mrs. ashley boumgetzen. 

so, i've decided that the blog is the new journal.  not only do i have to be vulnerable with the world, but with myself as well.  in order to blog well, i think, honesty is the most important component.  i was super inspired when i read this blog.  basically, it's just some dude writing out fun stuff and ideas for his future wife.  it's entertaining to read for sure, but i think vulnerable in some ways, as well.  first of all, what dude admits that he thinks about his future wife and what they'll do on saturdays and christmas mornings? i know few that would consider that cool.  anyway, i think its a unique picture of both vulnerability and hopefulness.

page 6 is my fave so far:

hilarious / ideal (?) .

anyway.  i'm reading an awe inspiring book by buechner (obvi) and am very excited to start sharing again.  i hope you are, too.

meg
 

" its well worth the time that it's taken to get here now"

christmas post

hiiiiiii. so sorry its been so long. aren't you so excited for christmas? I haven't been up to much. just finishing year 2.5 of med school while growing in both honesty and akwardness with each day that passes.

so glad to have an entire three weeks off for Christmas and New Years! I drove from harlingen to amarillo, basically the entire length of the great state of texas; and am now comfy and snuggled up at my sister and brother-in-law's house for a pretty good while. here's what i've been doing on a daily basis: (with pics so you don't get bored)

first i spend the entire morning drinking coffee and starting at this big guy:

next, i spend a good 20/30 minutes thinking about her, who is with her parents for the holidays:

Then i generally spend the rest of the day chasing, tickling, and teaching these guys about the world:

a couple of days ago, Hudson, Isaac, and I made and decorated christmas cookies. it was quite an adventure.


and by "making and decorating" cookies, i mean the both of them dipping their hands and faces in icing and sprinkles and eating as much of it as they could without me seeing.

so really, it was awesome.

evidently looking normal in pictures is impossible for our family. must be autosomal dominant.

three days later i finished decorating the ones i saved for myself. they weren't much better.

which reminded me of this:

“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.” - the little prince

other things i've been doing:

reading lots of these:

and lots of this:
and drinking even more of this; so delightful! i don't care if it's "girly":

been making lots of these for all of you (besides creepy internet stalkers):

and shamefully looking at this dress online everyday. because i want to buy it oh so bad.

so. thats the end of my lazy christmas post. i hope y'all are enjoying your time, too. as a goodbye gift, i thought i'd tribute a couple of my favorite tunes from my 14 hour texas driving excursion earlier this week. be warned that none of them are new, unheard of, or even christmas tunes (i kind of hate christmas music).

• everyday it's a-gettin' closer, goin' faster than a roller coaster, love like yours will surely come my way...
• we'll rent a comedy, rewind the best parts, and memorize the lines...
• ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off...
• I sit and daydream, I've got daydreams galore, Cigarette ashes-there they go on the floor,
  Go away weekends leave my keys in the door, why try to change me now...
• I've been looking so long at these pictures of you, and I almost believe that they're real ..
  
  

Things I like right now.

i've had a couple of requests for a new blog post. to be honest, i don't really know what to write. i'm a little afraid of blogging lately, because i think that in a lot of ways, it can become really self-centered and ridiculous. SO, i'm in the process i've reconciling this idea. BUT i have a couple of photos that i want to share, because they make me happy, and i'm not really one to make a facebook album. Plus, they were taken on with my phone to look all antique and vintage-y. love it. Enjoy!

so glad second year of school is over, but i think i miss the excessive giggles and very large binders.



top five best parts of summer: 1. sun 2. the idea that its ok the dress borderline trashy because, well its hot outside 3. enough time to take pictures of your feet. 4. sun

5. POOL PARTIES:

andy mac explains the meaning of life, in a hot tub, drinking beer. duh.



go 'dores. obvi.



"make sure you get my chest hair". right.


ambiguously ethnic, per usual.


summer joy.


maybe the point of this post was to visually represent things that i'm thankful for. great! i'd much rather do it this way than akwardly at the thanksgiving dinner table with all kinds of inappropriate comments running through my head instead......

but the post wouldn't be complete then without a couple more pics.


besties + tankmates 4 lyfe.


beth and i's collage at the new apt. love it so much, and spend hours wishing i could jump into the paintings and tapestries we've acquired from our travels.

oh hey beach, so close to my house! see you soon!


nephews that are so cute it's basically illegal.


hey liv. love you forever.


i'm also particularly enjoying this song right about now. just in case you're curious.

peter bradley adams. the longer i run.



and.

hazy. rosi golan and william fitzsimmons.

Two Left Feet

oh heyyyy. sorry i've been gone for so long. but the truth is, my absence isn't important. it's where i've been, all that i've learned, and what i will write next that will keep our relationship alive. i promise.

so what happened between april and july of 2010? oh, well i guess i'll tell you in pictures.

i finished my second year of medical school, took my finals, and studied for my STEP 1. it all felt a little like this:

then,

i packed up my house,

picked up my dog,

and moved to Harlingen.

then, Harlingen got a hurricane, so Liv, Beth and i evacuated. it was, well, an experience.

we returned to our new home yesterday and i will start my family medicine rotation tomorrow. get excited!

i've made many noble attempts at blogging before today, and have been unsuccessful for 2 main reasons.

1. this situation:

"look Liv, we're going to blog!"

ok wait, never mind, no we are definitely not going to blog today.

2. the past couple of months have moved past me. to be honest, i've spent many days and nights immersed in studying with little thought of anything else. often, during these times of great devotion to work, i forget to experience my days, to experience those around me, and to reflect on the lessons of every day.

and really, that's it.

it seems like a whole new beginning of the same old story, except for one thing.

last weekend, i went to ash and john's wedding. all i can say is, "wow".

after months of self-centered study time, i returned to a great piece of my home and my heart. the thing about returning home is that we return to being known, and if it is a good home, we return to being both known and loved fully.

it was pure joy to see my girls.

it was an honor to be with ash on her big day.

i could just cry thinking about it.

i want to be around these girls everyday. they give me life not only by reminding me who i am, but by believing in my good as well. they believe in my good, in our collective good, and more importantly in our collective strength. our collective strength is one that pursues both the truth in each of us and the truth of how we interact with our community.

all in all, there is a profound reality in the community of those who love us, and i am extremely grateful to have tasted this reality on the eve of a new beginning.

***all wedding photos by the beautiful and talented holland c. ward. i couldn't love you more.