dear starbucks guy,
i admire your perseverance, really. the 5 times you have walked back and forth from your table to the splenda/creamer/stirrer/trash can station in the last 30 minutes, i have avoided your gaze. i am truly sorry i made eye contact the first time. i guess i forgot that looking at you for less than a millisecond made it ok for you to stare at me for the next 500,000. oh, look, your creepiness has officially ruined my focus for the epic blog post i was trying to compose, and now you are actually talking to me?
what's that you say? what am i working on? well actually i am a medical student. that should be enough to scare you off, right? a women over 5'2", that has brains? oh, ok. you're so creepy that that doesn't creep you out. shit.
have i heard of doctors without borders, yes actually i have. you go, doctors without borders, save those african children from malaria.
wait, creepy starbucks guy, are you actually telling me that you think DWB is useless? yes, you actually said that. What's that you said afterward, "if you really want to help Africans, you shouldn't give them medicine or food. what they need is brute military force". wow, creepy starbucks guy, you have officially ruined all faith i had in mankind for at least the next 3 months. thanks.
wait, peace and joy shall prevail! i know EXACTLY what you need. you see, last week i was at Panera, and a man twice your age and creepiness level told me about some poker game he has every Monday night behind the North Star Mall. he invited me to come. i wasn't interested but you should TOTALLY go. here, i'll give you his business card that he gave me; i'm sure he won't mind. call him up, i'm 100% positive he'll agree with you on the whole "brute force conquers all" theory. now i must go. i have grey's anatomy episodes to catch up on.
peace and joy to new relationships and loving life!
new and improved posts to come.....
oooh, which guy is this??
ReplyDeletesorry, Andrew, it's you...joke.
ReplyDeletebf, wish i was sitting with you so i could ward off the creeps. not that it would help. it's going to happen anyway. part of your life. but don't give into that cynical ass's lies. DWB rocks and i'm going to be alongside you some day helping you save lives. actually, as a nurse, i'll probably do most of the work. but you can have the credit because of the suffering you'll have endured at med school. i'll just be your bitch. perfect.